Halfadeckshort on August 28, 2010 · in Highschool of the Dead

Summary Recall of the Dead:

Our apologies, but the planned segment on the Zombie Chute 5000 has been preempted so that we may bring you breaking news of a widespread product recall. We turn you over to Mr. Igot U. R. Cash IV, President of Zombay Enterprises, who will read a prepared statement.

Dear consumer,

It has come to our attention that one of the items you may have recently purchased is part of a group of products that we are voluntarily recalling. While we are still waiting for government testing to confirm our findings, which we reported almost immediately after TMZ aired their “Zombay Expose,” we felt that it was appropriate to take action immediately to protect the safety of you, our loyal customer, and the public at large.

Though we have a top-ranked quality system in place (ISO 9001 certified), and all of our products are extensively safety tested by an independent laboratory, we occasionally have defects that make their way into our product line through some of our overseas partners. While we are working to certify all of our suppliers to our rigorous safety and quality standards, effective immediately, we are recalling all products in the Zombuddy Zuper Action®* line, which includes all variations of the Rampaging Rex®, Troglodyte Tina®, Fearsome Fred®, and The Wally®.

Recent tests have confirmed that some of the zombies that were used may have been exposed to equipment that is also used to process peanuts and other tree nuts. Even though this does not affect zombie performance in any measurable fashion, it is quite possible that someone could have an allergic reaction while handling or being mauled by one of our zombies, a situation that we find to be unacceptable. Who wants puffy-faced zombies created from a peanut-tainted seed unit? You sure don’t, and neither do we.

The chance of a reaction may be slight, but we are committed to delivering only the finest products to our valuable customers. If you own one of the products affected by the recall, please bring your unit(s) to your local Zombay Expo location for immediate inspection and replacement, or a complete refund. Here at Zombay Enterprises, your satisfaction is our priority one. Thank you for your time, and for your continued support.

*Please note that Farmer Jed® (with authentic pitchfork action) and Embalmed Elaine® from the Zombuddy Friends® line are not affected by the recall.

We now return you to the infomercial in progress.

… just listen to what Adam K., another satisfied customer, had to say:

“Before I got the Zombie Chute 5000® from Aww Chute!, my attempts to launch my zombies were absolute bombs. I ended up cratering several of my best shamblers, and the property damage was astronomical. Thank God for insurance! Anyway, once I picked up the Zombie Chute 5000, those worries became things of the past. Now, I can safely land tangle-free terror from 30,000 feet! I can’t wait for the tandem version!”

Order today and get a free Chutie plushie! And when it comes time to deploy your undead, remember to say “Aww, Chute!” or you’ll be saying “Oh, SHI-”

Thirty Second Spot Version:
The gang crosses the river and commemorates the event by getting dressed. They then head toward Saya’s house, and it appears that the area is relatively free of the undead until they run into (literally and figuratively) a mass of zombies that have been corralled by wires strung across the road. Rei, who had been riding atop the HumVee, is thrown to the ground and Takashi and the rest of the group leave the stalled vehicle to assist her. Things look dire until Saya’s mother arrives and helps them retreat, but despite the assist Takashi and Saeko end up separated from the main group.

Reaction:

Even though we got a lot of action in this episode, it wasn’t exactly encouraging. Rather than take a moment to formulate a plan, everyone reacted on impulse and ended up wasting a lot of ammo and endangering themselves and one another. Kohta was really the one keeping it all together by providing accurate cover fire and helping the others with their weapons, but in doing so he also failed to see the bigger picture. It wasn’t until nearly the end of the fight that Takashi and Saeko left off their hopeless frontal attack and tried to draw the main zombie mob away from the others, but by then it was too late. If Saya’s mom hadn’t shown up to save them all, this probably would have been the end of their short journey, but on the other hand, if Takashi had had enough sense to enlist some help in dragging Rei back up onto the HumVee there wouldn’t have been much of a fight, or an excuse for Madhouse’s Creative Breast Physics team to show their stuff.

Where the fanservice has been amped up the last few episodes, this time they went plaid cranked it up to ludicrous levels. I didn’t have as many laugh out loud moments this week, especially compared to episode seven’s ridiculous posing, but part of my quiet may have derived from the awe I felt from all the bullet time love that Rei and Saeko’s assets received. Rei truly had more jiggle than a ton of Jello, and the way Saeko’s breasts dodged Takashi’s errant rounds, they must have independent microprocessors. Add to that the suggestive changing scene (did anyone else notice that even though Shizuka gets totally naked during the changing scene, she’s wearing the same thing she was last time? Or was it just me?) and all the random boob and butt shots, and this episode has clearly topped everything we’ve seen so far from the series. What are they going to pull next?

I can’t wrap this up without mentioning how thoroughly disappointed I was with Takashi’s actions this time. No, not for letting Rei go flying off the HumVee, or for dropping all his shells, or for being a terrible shot. No, it’s because he completely failed as a harem lead. Suggesting that the girls go put some clothes on? Seriously? And then not peeping? Hasn’t he been watching Amagami SS? I mean, he could’ve at least let Saeko know that stockings go great with aprons. Kids these days. Even though he completely failed in his duties, it’s obvious that Rei is becoming even more possessive of him, and Saya wanted to make sure that he knew that she’d be waiting at home for him. Will Shizuka make another move? Or will Saya’s mom get in on the action? There’s no telling for now, but next time it looks like Saeko is going to get her crack at Takashi, and after Rei’s extremely pointed glances in this episode, I’m dying to see what Rei pulls when the two of them rejoin the main group. Until then.